Psycological Postscript

after seriously reading thru andrew's blog, i look at myself and said... hey, how honest do u think u can be in this blog. actually, i dun think i can be totallie honest here. it's realli hard to tok when so many lines of sight converge on you. precisely, tt's the problem.

ai, all i'm comfortable to share here is that i'm not all that goodie goodie juz becos i haf tt kinda look.. i oso got a dark side too, but tt's exactly why u call it that; no light is shed on it.. i juz dun share. (i would say i'm rather quiet in that sense... if i tok a lot, isn't it all superficial? but then again, not everything u say has to be meaningful.. otherwise, fun will lose it's meaning in life.)
frankly, i'm tired of ppl commenting that i'm the model human (okie, nobody called me tt b4, it's juz dramatic exaggeration.. pls dun take it as arrogance, i hate proud ppl, n hate to be one). it's juz getting increasingly hard to live up to other ppl's expectations and diffcult for me to be honest. i dunno why but i have this problem with wanting to please ppl... u can say 'bye' to character... i've yet to pinpoint mine yet.. it's realli frustrating. i oso think i'm getting realli impatient with my family members.. am i feeling suffocated?

is sumthing wrong when there's a gap between "being true to yourself" and "self disipline"?

shoot, there're so many stray thoughts hovering out there, but i can't seem to grasp them.. i guess i'm too tired now... tmr there's church, needa hear wad God's saying. but first, i muz get my own spiritual life back on track, i think the business is causing me once again to forget the quiet times that onced rejuvinated me so. it's kinda ironic that it is when u're most busy that u need quiet times, but u neglect them then.. i'm so sorry God.